D’VAR TORAH
Once a year, Hashem hands each of us something precious. Not another year — another chance. A chance to repair what we did not repair, to say sorry to someone we hurt, to return to Him, and to grow into who we are meant to be.
We are entering Elul, the 30 days before Rosh Hashanah. And I want to begin with a single question: what if these 30 days could change your entire year?
What if the person you become during Elul determines the kind of year that follows?
Elul is not about dread. It is about opportunity. It is the month, our sages teach, when the King comes out to the field.
The famous mashal explains it this way. For most of the year, a person who wants an audience with the king must travel to the palace, prepare himself, pass the guards and follow the proper procedure. But in Elul the King leaves the palace and comes out to the field, making Himself accessible to anyone who wishes to approach. The lesson is remarkable: we need not wait for Rosh Hashanah to change, nor for Yom Kippur to ask forgiveness, nor for the final moment before the gates close. We are given 30 days to prepare, to grow, and to become different.
What follows are five practical lessons from Chazal — not lovely ideas to admire and forget, but concrete steps. Taken seriously for a month, they can carry us into Rosh Hashanah as changed people.
TESHUVAH: ONE HONEST DECISION
The Rambam explains that teshuvah means leaving a mistake behind, removing it from our thoughts and sincerely resolving not to return to it. Many imagine teshuvah as tears on Yom Kippur, but it begins far earlier — the moment a person stops and asks himself where he is not where he should be. What habit has been controlling me for years? Whom have I hurt, and whom must I apologize to? What part of my relationship with Hashem needs work?
Here is something practical. Take a piece of paper and draw three columns: between me and Hashem, between me and others, between me and myself. Write down one thing in each that you want to improve this year. Not 20 things — one. Real change does not begin with 20 promises. It begins with a single honest decision.
TEFILLAH: FIVE SINCERE MINUTES
Chazal teach that even if a sharp sword rests on a person’s neck, he should not stop himself from seeking mercy. Never assume a situation is hopeless, that it is too late, or that nothing can be done. There is always tefillah.
But there is a difference between reciting words and truly praying. For the next 30 days, set aside five minutes a day. Put the phone away, find a quiet place, and speak to Hashem in your own words. Tell Him what you need and what you fear — about your children, your marriage, your livelihood, your struggles and your dreams. Even say plainly: «Hashem, I don’t know how to do this alone. Please help me become the person You created me to be.» Five sincere minutes can change a whole day — and sometimes open doors that years of effort could not.
TZEDAKAH AND CHESED: OPENING THE HEART
«Tzedakah saves from death,» our sages teach, and the Elul custom is to give more of it. But the deeper work is opening not only our wallets but our hearts. Beside the person who needs money often stands someone who needs a phone call, a word of encouragement, or simply to be asked, «How are you really doing?» There are people who are not missing money — they are missing someone who sees them.
So here is an Elul challenge: every day for 30 days, do one act of kindness that no one knows about. Call someone lonely. Message someone going through a hard time. Help without taking credit. Forgive. Do something for your spouse unasked. Give your child an extra hug. One of the surest ways to ask Hashem for mercy is to become a person who extends mercy to others.
GUARDING OUR SPEECH
The Chafetz Chaim devoted his life to teaching the power of speech. Our words can build a person or destroy one. A single sentence can keep someone smiling all day; another can leave them crying all night.
Before speaking about anyone this Elul, ask three questions: Is it true? Is it necessary? Will it help? If the answer is no, leave it unsaid. Picture a person standing before Hashem on Rosh Hashanah, asking for a good and sweet year, and imagine Hashem answering: «I want to give you a beautiful year — but what did you do with the mouth I gave you?»
Elul is the time to transform how we speak. Instead of «You’re always like this,» try «I know you can do better.» Instead of «There’s nothing good about you,» try «I see something in you that maybe you don’t yet see in yourself.» Trade criticism for encouragement, humiliation for strength. Speak to people rather than about them, and our words become instruments of blessing.
ONE SMALL KABBALAH
«Open for Me an opening like the eye of a needle,» Chazal teach, «and I will open for you openings through which wagons and carriages can enter.» Hashem does not ask us to become perfect overnight. He asks us to open one small door.
This may be the great secret of Elul. Do not take on 20 resolutions — take one. Something small, realistic and real: 10 minutes of Torah a day, arriving at shul on time, saying Modeh Ani with more awareness, putting on tefillin daily, learning with your children, giving your spouse 10 phone-free minutes each evening, working on a single character trait. Do not promise to become an angel this year. Promise only to become a little better than you were yesterday. That is real growth.
BEGIN IN ELUL, NOT ON ROSH HASHANAH
There is a story about a man who came to his rabbi before Rosh Hashanah, frustrated. «Every year I come to shul,» he said. «Every year I pray, I cry, I promise to change — and every year I go back to being exactly the same person.»
The rabbi asked how long he prepared for Rosh Hashanah. «A few days,» the man said. The rabbi smiled. «You prepare for a test for a few days and expect a different result?»
«SO WHAT SHOULD I DO?»
«This year,» the rabbi answered, «don’t begin on Rosh Hashanah. Begin in Elul.» And then he offered one sentence that changed everything: «If you want a different year, don’t only ask for a different year. Become a different person.»
That is the message of Elul. A new year does not begin with a new calendar; it begins with a new person. Enter Rosh Hashanah with the same anger, the same habits, the same arguments and excuses, and the date will change but you will not. Let Elul change you, and you arrive already prepared.
NEW YEAR, NEW YOU: 5 CHANGES TO MAKE
SO CARRY FIVE DECISIONS INTO THE NEXT 30 DAYS:
• Teshuvah: one thing I will change.
• Tefillah: five sincere minutes a day speaking to Hashem.
• Chesed: one act of kindness a day.
• Speech: one fewer word that hurts, one more that builds.
• A kabbalah: one small commitment kept for 30 days.
If each morning for 30 days you tell yourself, «Today I will be a little better than yesterday,» then after 30 days you are no longer the same person. That is the power of Elul.
Elul does not come to frighten us. It comes to remind us that the door is still open — that the King has come out to the field. The only question is whether we will go out to meet Him.
One sentence is worth keeping, in Elul and beyond: Do not wait for a good year to become a better person. Become a better person, and you will build a better year. A good year is not only something we ask Hashem to give. It is something we prepare ourselves to receive.
May we use these 30 days to open our hearts — to apologize and forgive, to pray and to give, to strengthen our families and bring more holiness into our homes. May we arrive at Rosh Hashanah with more than a prayer in our hands: with a cleaner heart, a stronger commitment and a deeper relationship with Hashem. And may Hashem look at each of us and say, «I see your effort, I see your heart, I see your small steps — and I am giving you another year.»
Ketivah Vechatimah Tovah — a year of health, happiness and peace in our homes, of nachas from our children and abundant parnassah, of love and unity among Klal Yisrael, and, please God, of the ultimate redemption. Amen.
By Rabbi Asher Vaknin